Hey! It’s My Personal Space!
When I heard someone assert this it struck a chord: Cars are an extension of our personal space, our homes, our castles. It didn’t take but a brief reflection to realize it makes complete sense; I have to wonder why I’ve never consciously thought of it before. And now I understand the road rage thing a bit more – hey man, get out of my space! My car, me! I’m the one who’s in this part of the time/space continuum! Get lost!
What’s that saying – “Lord, grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Ah yes, “The Serenity Prayer” by Reinhold Niebuhr. Why is it few of us consider we do not and cannot control the acts of other drivers, and hence, other cars? Is it so difficult to accept they will not behave as we wish, or in our best interests?
Do we still long for the days when drivers recognized each other, looked and acknowledged each other, and actually took turns acquiescing to the other’s momentary needs? And I don’t mean acknowledgement with the flip of a finger or a lip-read obscenity. I mean that old civility called courtesy.
We are, indeed, wrapped around the sacred space of our cars. Especially today, with all their capabilities cars are, at one time or other, everything to us. A place of both serenity and serendipity, of angst, of a safe space to talk out loud to ourselves; a concert hall, a narrator of books, a man cave and sports monitor, a video game and movie theater (hopefully just passengers). A place, usually ill-advisedly, to take out our aggressions (the gym is safer and better for you); a demonstration of independence. They are an extension of our selves.
Long ago, I remember someone claimed car ownership was like dog ownership – the kind was a reflection of the person who owned it. These days, I think that’s a given everyone’s on to. No doubt, we make judgements about others based on how they maintain their cars, on what kind of drivers they are, on their intelligence, their personality traits, their politics (witness South Park’s ‘Pius’ car owners). Gun racks and beer cans in a pickup truck say all kinds of different things to different people. Vintage cars say, “you’re old!” Really expensive cars say lots of things, too – I’m special, a narcissist, egomaniac, speed freak. On and on it goes.
In the end, does it change us to fully realize we treat our cars as an extension of our living space? I think few of us consciously make that connection, but it certainly is one we make emotionally and unconsciously. We nest in them, create special spaces for specific objects in them, set aside spots for our pets. Children have specific seats, as if they were still at the dinner table. Interesting how everything we own gets personalized or personified. Cars often get both. Go figure.
What an incredibly important part of our lives cars have become. Teens want them because it provides instant freedom, independence. Seniors cling doggedly to their license because it’s their lifeline to activities, to self-reliance. Pull that and people tend to wither. Few of us really know how to cope without the convenience, the freedom, the opportunities a car affords.
Sure, there’s public transportation, bicycles and walking. In the eyes of most of us, these second choices are all compromises we are loath to accept, if at all. How many older people are physically able to do the last two options? How many younger people could stand the razzing from their peers? Public transport certainly isn’t as convenient and still requires walking. And, it’s public space! They’re all a concession to losing something that was private, personal. It’s almost, in fact, as psychologically difficult as an unwilling move from your home. Think about that for a minute. I think it’s true.
Maybe this idea of cars as personal spaces is a thought we should keep in mind when we drive. It might keep us from doing something silly or ill-advised. I value my personal space, and the idea that other’s do, too, also rings a bell about how we all want to preserve and defend it. We might all be better off knowing that when we’re behind the wheel.
Just goes to show personal space is a funny thing and it isn’t always obvious. Just another useless meandering of thought from an old guy full of marginally informative information. Go figure.
