The Truth about Tonsils & Ice Cream
“I need volunteers!” bellowed the Sergeant. Everyone steps back except the Naive and the Innocent. “Great! You two will do. Follow me!” quips the Sergeant. “We’re off on a little adventure you’re going to love. It’ll put hair on your chest and build character.”
Oh boy. Hmm….
At one time or other, many of us have felt like the Naive and the Innocent. Led down a garden path, told this endeavor would be fun, simple, exciting, even fulfilling. It’s often a learning adventure, giving you the sense of contributing, of being a servant warrior while teaching and learning.
Volunteering is a wonderful, generally selfless act some of us do as part of our everyday lives. Sad to say, most people never volunteer for anything. Those among us who volunteer as officers and board members are even rarer. In all cases it’s safe to say as a volunteer a significant number of people will not appreciate you.
I was at a general homeowners meeting of our recently acquired condo. The building is only four years old. Its developer, and the greater development surrounding it, is in receivership. So, building warranty issues are tangled up in a mess of legal maneuverings. The HOA Board of Directors has been diligently sorting through it with the help of lawyers. The meeting was to inform owners of some of the progress and issues.
The meeting itself was civil. As always there were differences of opinion, those who thought they knew better than the lawyers the ins and outs of condominium and receivership law, the workings of Boards and by-laws, declarations and such, and a variety of red herrings that had little to do with the subject of the meeting.
This is how it is when you volunteer to help steer policy and protections for others in a ‘group.’ Everyone pretends to know all the important circumstances. Most have already made up their minds before being informed. As a result, many do not want to hear the facts or the truth or the circumstances that surround and influence Board decisions made for the good of all concerned. They simply want to bitch and to blame. The easiest target for blame is the Board.
If you are a volunteer, if you have ever been more than just a plebe in the hierarchy of an organization, non-profit, or school, if you have served as an officer or on Boards as a volunteer you no doubt know what I mean. There is no way to escape blame. And the greater the issue, the more the vitriol of ignorance will rise up against you.
It won’t matter if you make the soundest and wisest of decisions, there will be vocal and unhappy people at your door. They will email you, text you, call you with insults, personal attacks, question your ethics, call you a lier, a crook, a racist. They will yell at you at Board meetings, institute outrage, threaten lawsuits or personal liability for damages. They may damage your car, throw things at your house, and all sorts of other nonsense. All because they are too selfish, too lazy, too stupid to inform themselves of the issue, or volunteer themselves, or offer any sort of help.
They want you to do everything, be responsible for all the outcomes and if your idea of what is right doesn’t align with theirs, then may the strength of the Gods be with you. You will need a thick skin. You will need a strong voice to fight back, to beat off the angry and the ill-informed. And you will need to know when to keep your mouth shut and walk away, to turn the other cheek.
For someone like me, who has decades of experience running businesses, complex aerospace projects, and volunteer Boards, and has no time to take ignorant shit from anyone, that is very hard to do. I learned to spot the troublemakers. It’s usually best to take them down before their voices get too loud or they somehow build a group to back them. Sometimes that actually works.
I’ve learned it is wise to do the job at hand to the best of your skills and experience, to turn a deaf ear to those who would test your hearing, tolerance and patience, to retreat to the rest of your cadre of Board volunteers, who are in the same boat with you. Only they know the sensitive facts you ethically cannot share with the outside world. Only they know the financial issues, the game planning over possible decision trees and the cascade of consequences that will likely occur after decisions are made.
Most social and philanthropic organizations would cease to exist without the brave and selfless people who volunteer to run them. And few people take the time to express any appreciation. So, as a volunteer, don’t think adoration will come knocking on your door. Volunteering is something one does because it feels good to help others, to use one’s skills guiding others to better places without asking for anything in return. It really is a feel good story. But it’s one possibly only you will feel.
From an early teen, I was expected to volunteer. It was an expected part of living, to show gratitude and to give back. As a result, I have served on school boards, church boards, industry boards, National Ski Patrol boards. I have volunteered for government committees for education, helped build homes for Habitat for Humanity, provided first aid as part of the Red Cross, taught and coached sports for kids from the age of five all the way through high school, volunteered as a collegiate sports photographer for a university. I can’t remember all the things I volunteered for. I was brought up to raise my hand when needed; it became an impulse.
These days most of us expect the government to do our volunteering for us, to help others when the need arises. Just send money; we’ll do the rest. Sad to say, in my opinion it doesn’t always work well. Communities should be doing many of these things for themselves.
When someone asks for volunteers, if you have the skill or the knowledge or the ability to help, step forward. Remember, it won’t be all sunshine and roses. Anything worthwhile rarely is. But it is a self-fulfilling task. It’s something you do because it gives you added purpose and provides your community needed help. Don’t always expect others to pull the weight.
Being a volunteer translates into all parts of life. It will make you better at everything else – more understanding, more rational, more logical, more organized and mostly, more human. Enjoy the ride. It’ll grow hair on your chest.
