A Reason to be Thankful
The holidays. The season to express gratitude and thankfulness, to let those around you know you love them. Hopefully, you will receive the same in return, and it will make you feel the struggle isn’t too difficult or too long. Family, whether it’s made up of friends, co-workers or relatives, gives us strength and shelter, comfort and a shared outlook. I look forward to this time because it helps me recharge for the year ahead.
I have had many thoughts over the years about how and why we end up on the paths that direct our journeys to the here and now. I’m going to share a few of mine with you. Some of them come from others, some are my own. I know I’m always influenced by what I have seen or read, so I’m not sure I can really say any of these are mine alone. They’re more like epiphanies of things someone else has surely already figured out. I think it just illustrates how we humans seem to repeat the same journeys over and over again. The ages don’t seem to change our emotional thought growth very much, only the conditions of our environment.
Sometimes, depending on the day and the circumstances, I have to start a day with a very basic expression of gratitude – I’m alive. Living in a northern latitude, winter can sometimes be difficult. When the sun comes up at 8, sets at 4 and the days are usually grey and rainy, it can be hard to get motivated – the weather’s not going to do it for you, that’s for sure. So, I have to start with the basics – I’m here and I’m going to get out there. I’ve noticed, however, the older I get the more difficult it is to get started. So, I accede to that and just take a little more time. I envy those who can get right up and start in. Even as a kid, I was never one of those. Starting with a bit of humor can usually help. I like Carl Reiner, who at 96 said, “I get up every morning, open the paper to the obituaries and if I’m not in it, I eat breakfast.” From there, things usually get better.
Like I said, these thoughts are not really news; they’ve been expressed many times by many people over many years. Still, the words used by people we recognize to convey these truisms sometimes resonate more than others.
Jerry Seinfeld has offered his three principles of life, and they’re pretty basic. When you hear these you realize Jerry’s really a pretty no-nonsense guy: “1, Bust your ass – whatever you’re doing work as hard as you possibly can; 2, Pay Attention – pay attention to what’s around you all the time; 3, Fall in love – not romantic love; fall in love with your parking space. If you’re doing something, your life is good. If you’re doing nothing, your life stinks. Life is action, there’s nothing else to it.” Thank you, Jerry.
Action seems to be a common theme. Dick van Dyck said, “Keep moving! New experiences are the only thing you can collect in life that end up being worth it.” Action must also be precipitated by enthusiasm. There’s Ralph Waldo Emerson’ famous line that, “Nothing great was ever accomplished without enthusiasm,” or Nelson Mandella, who said “There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”
Inevitably, moving through our ambitions we need help from others; we often need to be part of something and, inevitable to that, part of a team. I once related the importance of commitment and teamwork to a group of high school athletes: “When you commit to something it should be to excellence. If you think the only thing that matters is getting good grades, I’ve got news for you – you are wrong. What matters is commitment and courage. As a businessman, when I hire someone what do you think I’m looking for? Commitment and passion.”
“One day when you are lucky enough to have a family, what do you think they are going to want from you? Commitment and courage. To them, to something other than yourself. There must be commitment to a cause, to a goal, to working with others to achieve greatness. A commitment to anything less guarantees mediocrity.”
“Committing to others, to teammates, means giving everything you have. If you don’t have the wherewithal to do that then don’t set your teammates up for failure by giving them less than your best, your best effort. It is both painful and disturbing for others to witness, and worst of all, you will begin to think it’s okay. Giving less than your best is NEVER okay.”
Metal of Honor winner Patrick Brady said, “Mediocrity and failure result from choice, not chance. Success is born of courage alone, and God has made this marvelous gift infinitely available to all who ask for it.”
Now, I will never be mistaken for someone who is not intense. I have always been intense, a perfectionist. That determination has made up for a lot of what I lacked in knowledge, skill and talent. When you grow up with a demanding father and a neighborhood of older kids, you learn to be a fighter, someone who doesn’t give up. You may be laughed at, but you will always be admired for your effort. Tenacity is a great trait – “Winners never quit, and Quitters never win.” How true. I like Jim Glickenhaus’s thought about stretching what’s possible when he said, “People are always going to tell you that you can’t do it. If you’re doing anything ambitious, that is axiomatic. You just can’t listen to them.”
Okay, so there’s the intensity. I’ll back off a bit now. You can take a breath. I will, too. I have learned I can’t be intense all the time; it’s just too much for people, and really, we have to be able to laugh, joke about ourselves, and learn to have a sense of humor. Remember the Four Agreements – rule 2, “Don’t take anything personally.”
So, back to being thankful. I am thankful for learning all of these things, for being exposed to all these people and their amazing abilities. They have helped me realize some of my potential, to cope with the challenges and to recognize and appreciate happiness. I haven’t reached Nirvana or anything, but at least I can appreciate the people around me and all the successes they have helped me achieve. Thank you, everyone. I love you for your friendship, your gifts, and your advice.
