Father’s Days are the Best Kind of Family Days

I love family days, no matter what they are. BBQ’s, boating, yard games, tailgating, skiing, golf, cards – doesn’t matter. Together time is great time. And as I get older they just get better. Nothing to prove, nothing we don’t want to do, nothing we don’t like – nothing but fun!

For my 60th birthday we even did a car track day with two Aston Martin sports cars. I think I might have enjoyed that one more than anybody, but we all had fun. Minutes before going on track, Bryce, our youngest, was taught to drive clutch by one of the race instructors in the parking lot. How’s that for being a good sport!

For Mother’s Day, Janice has started a tradition of sorts with our three boys – a round of golf with Mom. While I’m odd man out on that one, I still think it’s a great activity. Maybe it’s a bit unusual because Dad’s not around to muck up the dynamic. I can’t help but think that’s probably a good thing. How often do Mom’s get do to something with just their boys? When they get home, I’m there manning the BBQ, handing out beers, and coaxing the day’s stories out of them. Just another way to get them ribbing each other – like they need any help!

I recognize many families don’t have a great communal dynamic. I feel badly for them. We got so lucky. We all managed to make it through childrearing still having a sense of humor and loving being around each other. Dad and Mom’s overbearing rules and demands didn’t kill anyone’s ability to treat each other as equals, even as friends and confidants. I don’t know what higher aspiration any parent can have than that. Because, to me, with that comes the knowledge we raised three men who contribute to society and to the betterment of the world. They care for each other, and for others. They demonstrate blood truly is thicker than water, but that it’s also at the core of being able to extend those bonds to others.

I am so grateful and humbled they still think of me as someone they want to be with, that they still occasionally confide in me and ask for advice, that they actually invite us to do things together! That’s what Father’s Day expresses to me – not their gratitude to me so much as my gratitude for them. It’s humbling to have people express thanks for you being in their lives. It’s one of the greatest gifts to realize they appreciate all those hard things you did trying to mold them into great people. And I think they are great people. Still not sure how they turned out so well. I guess Mom and Dad must have set a pretty good example the majority of the time. Mostly though, I’m grateful they chose to retain those instances and not dwell on the times we failed them or ourselves (failing one actually is failing the other, isn’t it).

They had the right mindset and the right ideas. They hung around and stayed committed until we got it right. They chose to do that. They didn’t give up on us and we never gave up on them. Maybe that’s what got us here – to this day, we still don’t know how not to be committed to each other.

I don’t know (I’m thinking there’s a lot I don’t) – maybe Father’s and Mother’s Days are just a mutual admiration days for us. Sure works for me. Although we really don’t need an excuse, it’s a way to get together and have fun. I can’t think of anything better. I hope you do as well and, if not, that those days lay ahead for you soon because it’s shame to miss them.