Growing your Circle of Influence

Because I was a contract engineer in aerospace, I was constantly moving to new projects in new companies and meeting new people. It seemed I was always trying to establish a rapport with my co-workers, bond with other contract engineers and maintain contact with those I already knew.

During this time I learned about Stephen Covey’s concept of our ‘circle of influence.’ As one might suspect it refers to our personal ability to both influence people and be true to ourselves. For me, it wasn’t hard to figure it started with how I responded to others. But how far did my influence extend, and why did it seem there were others with larger circles? One might think this is simply a re-statement of ‘it’s not what you know, it’s who you know.’ There’s some truth to that, but it’s much more. Why, I thought, do some of us know more people of influence? How have they cultivated those relationships? This is not only about the things we can do to extend our circles of influence but also to recognize where our circles end and where they begin. If I tried to influence people beyond my circle, not only did I have little success, but I tended to create negative responses and animosity. So how did I extend my circle? I learned to make deposits into the emotional banks of the people I knew. They might know people who I may get to know, or to whom I might gain a positive referral.

Then did it mean simply knowing more people? I learned that was part of it, too, but it also meant making an emotional investment to create and sustain a personal connection. Ultimately, my circle of influence centered on my ability to be self-aware, to make and fulfill commitments and promises to myself and to others. It was my integrity to those commitments that was important. The circle has to begin from within. Lastly, I finally clearly understood if I had a strong center, others outside my circle of influence couldn’t exert control over me. I would have the freedom to choose, especially if I was true to the core of my circle.

In the years before founding TTF Aerospace, my time at AIM was full of professional growth, unreasonable work hours, and ever increasing responsibilities. The six-plus years I spent there turned into the time where ideas and skills matured, where I learned aerospace business systems and where I gained customer exposure, business connections and professional recognition.

Now that I’m at the edge of retirement, it’s equally interesting (and sometimes a bit frustrating) to see many of my connections, and therefore my circle of influence, saunter off into the sunset. There’s another bell curve at work here. It just highlights the importance of continuing to practice those actions that are integral to growing relationships and making emotional bank deposits to grow your circle of influence. I’ve also realized, though, that my circle doesn’t really go away. There are still emotional connections that are real and it’s great fun to bump into people you no longer see every day. Just when I think I have it all figured out, something changes, and I discover something new and fun. And I realize again, that’s just how it should be.