Is March made for Madness?

This massive 6′ 9″ coach held the smaller man’s head in one hand and hugged him with the other. He spoke softly, searching for words that would communicate his understanding, his empathy, and his respect for the shorter man’s effort, skill and anguish. Juwan Howard knew this man’s disappointment. He had experienced it, lived it, overcome it. He had never forgotten it; it would always be part of him and part of his teachings. They continued to embrace while the coach comforted the player through his sobs of falling short of victory. What made this moment extraordinary? The coach was from the opposing team.

We are taught ultimate effort is rewarded, that iron will overcomes all obstacles. We are not usually told the efforts of others may on some days be more perfect than ours, their will even more electric, until we experience defeat after giving our best. Kennedy Chandler, the sensational freshman point guard from Tennessee, is learning that lesson. Defeat like that stings, it reaches deep into you and wrenches at your being. You don’t get over it, you fight through it. Juwan Howard knows that first hand. As one of Michigan’s Famous Fab 5 of the 1990s, he was part of a group expected to win national championships and never did. They were beaten twice in national championship games and never won their regular season conference championship. He knows about disappointment and what it can teach you.

In watching this scene unfold in a packed arena of thousands, NBA hall of famer Charles Barkley noted, “Athletics is a fraternity” and there’s “a special bond,” a love between players and coaches. That bond lasts a lifetime. It crosses sidelines and boundaries, school loyalties and competitive juices. Witness that 27 years later Juwan’s Fab 5 teammates were in the gym rooting on their school and their former teammate.

It’s hard to tell an athlete or anyone who invests so heavily and emotionally in a goal that failure is inevitable. It’s harder still to see them fail. But, we know that failure is momentary. Victory is transitory; so is defeat, it just doesn’t feel that way. Emotionally, success rarely teaches us or motivates us as much as failure. Success is a teacher of technique. Failure is a teacher of emotion. Failure is a crucible; you either move forward or give up; walk away or get better, smarter and try again. Moving forward sometimes is as simple as moving on. I didn’t say as easy as, because starting over isn’t easy. But we all must do it.

Find yourself a bond. Build on that fraternity, on that shared pursuit of a worthy goal, a goal that makes the world better and people around you grateful, more forgiving, better off than if you were not here.

Sports can build that want in you, as it has in the thousands who have experienced failure like Kennedy Chandler. He’s a freshman. He will have many more opportunities to succeed and fail. And like all of us, he will do both. Congratulations, Kennedy. You have arrived.