Look Who’s Coming to Dinner

We were tailgating at the final UDub football game last weekend when, as they usually do, the conversation spun to a very interesting sports question. My son Ryan said, “Ok, here’s one for you – if you could invite any five baseball players to dinner, who would they be?”

“Alive or dead?,” someone asked.

“Alive or dead,” Ryan answered.

We all thought about it for a bit and began contributing names. “Sandy Koufax,” I said. “Babe Ruth,” said Bryce. Kelly wasn’t too sure about him. I said I thought he was actually a pretty good guy. I think Kelly said, “Joe DiMaggio.” I liked that one. Ryan added, “Yogi Berra.” How could you not say yes to Yogi-isms. Then came “Ken Griffey.” We all nodded at that one. Being in Seattle, we had all seen him play many times and knew a lot about him. There were a few other suggestions after that, but we all started reflecting a bit more and the question suddenly became harder.

“I know who I wouldn’t invite,” said someone – “Barry Bonds.” There was a little laughter at that and a few more unloved, steroid-era names came forth, finishing with Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa.

Even though I haven’t completely answered the question about my five baseball icons, I think it’s a great one to pose to any summer sports fan. When you start thinking about this one, it’s anything but an easy question to answer. Probably the most interesting part will be listening to everyone else’s list and the reasons for who is on it. Your list will depend on how old you are, when you grew up, how much baseball history you know.

Will anyone pick a baseball commissioner? What about an owner? I doubt either one will get votes. What about coaches and managers? I can see where there might be a few. Casey Stengel, Sparky Anderson, Billy Martin, Lou Pinella are a few that come to mind. But, Ryan did say players, so let’s stick with that.

I think of past batting champions like George Brett, Tony Gywnn, Wade Boggs, Tony Oliva, Rod Carew. What about groundbreakers like Roberto Clemente, Hank Aaron, and Jackie Robinson, Ichiro Suzuki, Shohei Ohtani, and Hideo Nomo. Or pick five MVP or Cy Young award winners, any five – Bryce Harper, Mike Trout, Randy Johnson, Pedro Martinez. What about Willie Mays (the “Say Hey” kid), Roger Maris or Mickey Mantle. I’m not picking Ty Cobb – he was no fun to be around and known to be a dirty player. What about Shoeless Joe Jackson or any of the infamous Chicago Black Sox? It would be interesting to listen to them tell the real story of the 1919 Black Sox Scandal. What about the iron men of the sport, Cal Ripken, Jr., Lou Gehrig or Steve Garvey. What about Stan “The Man” Musial, Ernie Banks, or Pete Rose?

I want the guys who were both great players and fun to be around. I don’t want some self-absorbed, stick-in-the-mud sourpuss at my dinner. I want someone who’s easy to engage, has a sense of humor and doesn’t need to be the center of attention, even though they all would be. For me, the most fun would be to hear the fun stories and a little of the drama, some reflection on what was best and worst about it.

Having Bob Uecker to dinner would be an absolute hoot. A reserve catcher during his career with a Mendosa-line batting average, Uecker is one of those really funny, self-depreciating sorts who has a ton of stories. And he’s spent the last 50 years as the radio announcer for the Milwaukee Brewers. Speaking of stories, what about an evening with Jim Bouton, the former Seattle Pilot and New York Yankee pitcher who wrote, “Ball Four.”

A dinner with almost any five decent, self-respecting former major leaguers would be an unbelievable treat. They’re all going to have fun stories and moments of challenge to relate. They’re all going to be able to talk of the experience and how special it was. They will all have a perspective of time that will give a listener insight into what it’s really like to be a great player of one of the greatest games. And let’s face it, anyone who is good enough to play in the Major Leagues is already one of the world’s top players. Out of the millions and millions of people who try to play baseball, only 780 (up to 1,200 when the rosters ‘expand’ in September) make a regular season roster in any given year.

So there’s the question for you. Who would you want to invite, and why? It won’t end up being about just their baseball stats and records, we are curious about them and who they are. Good people are always fun to be around; mean people, not so much. If you can find someone who’s both a great player and person, you’ve struck gold. There’s no need to search any further. Good luck with this exercise of fiction. But wouldn’t it be fun if for one night it was real?