Self-fulfilling Prophesies – do they exist?
Okay, it sounds great, but is this a real thing? Do we really have the power to make thoughts into things, or fantasies into realities? Do fairy tales come true? That’s really what we’re talking about isn’t it?
When dreams come true, are they self-fulfilling prophesies? What about the dreams that don’t come true? Why do all dreams not become a self-fulfilled reality?
I don’t know the answers to all those questions. But, I think thoughts are extremely powerful. After all, it’s where dreams originate in the first place. So, the short answer is yes, self-fulfilling prophesies do exist. But how? And, how effective are they? What’s the most productive kind of thinking? Over the years I have come across some ideas that have helped me both cope and visualize in a positive way. I’m sure this seems kind of silly to some, but for me being able to focus on positive outcomes has led me to find ways to make that visualization come to pass. The really interesting part of this equation is how negative thoughts come into play and how they also shape us. It’s yin and yang; if good exists than so must it’s opposite, evil.
The trick for us is to not fall prey to negativity, to revenge, to cynicism. Hanging onto negative thoughts is not productive; it serves no positive purpose. When people take advantage of you, and they will, it will be very difficult to stay positive or even neutral. And sometimes neutral has been the best I could do. I have simply had to learn to recognize the bad symptoms, work to avoid them, and move on. I think moving on is extremely important. Clinging to negative thoughts impedes your ability to focus on what you want to become.
I have found that optimism, development of a skill, perseverance, and even what we sometimes call divine intervention are keys to realizing dreams. Divine intervention, a force you give your life to, can be one of those loaded phrases that conjures all kinds of derivative thoughts. I consider it to encompass several things; mostly, I think it’s code for a success-driven mindset. It may be powered by a divine force, but it needs direction and it’s up to you to supply it. Or is it simple chance? If so, don’t you increase your chances by doing more, thereby creating more opportunities? You’ve tipped the scale by involving yourself, so is it really just chance? And lastly, there’s good luck. When I heard the phrase “Luck is preparation meeting opportunity” it struck a cord and made complete sense to me, falling in line with another phrase, “The harder I work the luckier I get.” After all, it seems that’s what we’re trying to do – to direct and make sense of seemingly random, non-sensical circumstances and events that effect the direction of our lives.
Then there’s that old axiom, the power of positive thinking. There is nothing more powerful than believing in yourself, your cause, or whatever it is that motivates you. When you believe you work at making that belief a reality. Visualization creates realization; a thought making a thing.
The idea of infinite possibilities brings to mind the concept of quantum physics and the theories of chaos and self-organization. It’s a notion popularized by Mike Dooley with his axiom that thoughts become things. Henry Ford expressed the same idea when he wrote “whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.” I know what I think has influenced what I do. What I do influences what happens to me, and that influences what I become. I believe my attitude plays a very powerful role in what I accomplish and what I manifest for myself.
Over the years I have consciously and consistently worked toward certain aspirations. With repetition I have come to realize I internalize important thoughts, thereby driving even unconscious actions that send me down the road to attaining my goals. It’s like muscle memory. Internalizing a vision has directed every turn I’ve made at every cross road in my life, leading me to realize many of my aspirations. Without internalizing those visions I often would not have known, consciously or instinctively, which turn to take. The scary part is we can also internalize negative thoughts, and those can drive us in destructive directions.
I had a powerful reinforcement of thoughts becoming things when my sister remembered something I had said as a 16-year old. I had long forgotten saying it, but had not given up on the thought. She was twelve at the time, so the fact she remembered it says something. Our parents had bought a gorgeous lot on the waters of Puget Sound in Seattle. We grew up running around barefoot on beaches, boating, water skiing, fishing, living an ideal life that even then I realized was special.
I was 43 when my father died of cancer and several months later my mother decided she wanted to move. I said I was interested in buying her house because I had always wanted to live on the water again. A deal was struck, and Janice and I sold everything we had to make it happen. After we had moved in, my sister said, “I remember we were in the yard one summer, and you said you were going to live here again one day.”
I had not had that specific conscious thought for decades, yet it had manifested itself.
Self-discipline is another big one. Many times I have wanted to procrastinate on some difficult task or put it off, for any number of reasons. I have found, though, that if I do that hard thing right away I relieve myself of its burden and am grateful for the ability to move on. If one longs for success self-discipline and persistence – putting one’s head down and grinding through it – are important qualities to embrace. Estee Lauder said persistence was the most important reason for her success.
Speaking of promulgating negative thoughts, can we be too proud, too attached to our accomplishments? I know at times I have turned defensive when a cooler head would have served everyone better. And when you think about it, when does a cooler head not serve everyone better? Similarly, when is humility not a positive influence? It’s rare enough these days that when seen people marvel at it. When I err on the side of calm and humility, I find myself to be a better, more empathetic listener.
In that vain, I found great value in The Four Agreements, a small book by Don Miguel Ruiz. It’s an excellent and simple guide: 1, Be impeccable with your word; 2, Don’t take anything personally; 3, Don’t make assumptions; and 4, Always do your best. Being impeccable with my word is a tough one, especially when it comes to family. But not taking things personally has always been the hardest of those for me to master. When you dream about making things happen, it is personal; it’s who you envision yourself becoming.
When I started my company, I imagined us owning a 100,000+ sq ft building and having a couple hundred employees building aircraft cabin products we either improved or invented. We ended up with a 70,000 sq ft building and 130 employees, but we were doing what I envisioned. Did I think that thought every day? No, but I had internalized it and all the goals I set and all the calculated risks we took were with the idea of realizing that vision.
Bryon Dyson, former CEO of Coca-Cola, said there are three secret ingredients to success:
“Vision, knowing what you want to be when you grow up; confidence, knowing who you are; and luck, or what I would call being in the right place at the right time….
Vision – what you would like to be. Because remember that we all live under the same sky, but we do not have the same horizon.
…Confidence (is) a basic acceptance of what I am and a realistic understanding of what I am not. It is an understanding of my potential. To realize this potential you must be at peace with yourself. You must focus on your strengths and attributes, and you must develop them to the max….Don’t think if you have vision and confidence, luck will come looking for you. Sometimes, you have to make your own luck.”[1]
There it is again – luck. With preparation, when opportunity comes along, you will be ready to take that seemingly random circumstance and work it to your advantage. That’s where luck is more like you knowing what needs to be done. And you know that because you have thought about it and acted on that thought. That’s what a self-fulfilling prophesy is – acting on your thoughts, and visualizing it enough that those actions become second-nature; unconscious. So, good or bad, your thoughts really do manifest themselves.
[1]“Coca-Cola CEO’s Secret Formula For Success: Vision, Confidence And Luck,” The Georgia Tech Whistle, Vol. 17, No. 27, September 30,1991, p.3
