The Age of the Gentleman Competitor
Is it possible to be a gentleman and be competitive? I think the answer is definitely yes. It’s called sportsmanship, but it’s pretty rare to see unless you’re paying attention. Signs of mutual respect get little notice. Like the opposing player who extends a hand to a downed ball carrier, or who kneel in respect, or try to assist an injured opponent. Or those who exchange handshakes, jerseys, and compliments after a game. Not those visitors who disrespect the opponent by planting their flag on the home field.
In this day and age, it’s considered the norm to try every trick in the book to beat your opponent. Demonstrating disrespect, smack talking, grabbing, holding – you name it. Any cheat you can think of to momentarily get an upper hand. Truthfully, it’s been that way for quite a while. Even when I played 50 years ago, there were a few smack talkers. Today it just seems like everybody feels they have to get into the act. What is it? Are all of you that insecure these days? Can’t just play the game like adults? Are your skills not good enough to speak for themselves?
It’s everywhere now, like the guy who makes a catch for a first down in the first quarter and acts like he just scored the game winner. Really? Nobody gives a rip. Get back in the huddle. You can make a big deal if you’re still around at the finish and do something that matters.
I was never one to help an opponent; that was his problem. I was busy trying to do my job. I tried not to do anything to hurt my team or aid the opposition. I couldn’t have cared less about them; they might as well be dead to me. So, as you might expect I wasn’t an initiator, but if you wanted to engage I was happy to send a reply. Mine typically took the form of a physical answer – an extra hard hit or an in-your-face play. I used it as motivation to play better, harder. I wanted to make you pay on the scoreboard. Talk all you want. While you’re busy thinking of another insult, I’m demonstrating my disrespect by being better than you at the game. I used silence in my favor. Your insults sharpened my focus; thanks for the added incentive.
These days it appears most guys can’t get past the talk; they want to verbally counterattack, or they want to put their fists up and get penalized in the process. Can’t put their egos in their pockets long enough to wait for an opportunity to level the other guy within the confines of the rules. That was always my revenge – make the other guy pay physically or look foolish in front of his teammates and everyone who’s watching. Usually shuts a guy right up. Maybe add a little comment after. Haha.
I always loved the guy who talked smack when they were losing. That was so easy to come back with, “Yeah, we suck. Look at the scoreboard.” Then there were the guys who would throw punches in piles, spit in your helmet earhole, grab and pull in sensitive places, poke you in the eye. There was always somebody doing that stuff. In basketball, I remember watching Lonnie Shelton of the Seattle Supersonics pulling guys trunks down when they tried to go up for a rebound. Clever, subtle – hilarious to watch.
And how about all the hand fighting that goes on these days while defensive backs try to defend wide receivers? We couldn’t do any of that stuff. While there was a lot you could do to a guy before the ball was thrown, once it was in the air anything you did to contact the receiver was verboten. Now they’ve refined the rules so much, it’s amazing what they can get away with. The overt armbar to keep one of the receiver’s arms down; the hand slapping; the bumping and jostling; the face guarding, the last second phony turn to look for the ball. All very refined skills, none of which would have been tolerated when I played.
Oh, and I love the fake injury ploy so perfected by soccer players. It’s like watching pro wrestling on tv; the whole world’s a stage. Then there’s NASCAR where they intentionally take cars (and the guys in them) out, forcing a crash. WTF! Even though auto racing is far safer these days, there are people’s lives at stake – why do organizers put up with that shit? M-O-N-E-Y. Gate receipts. TV revenues. Social media spotlights. Makes you wonder if anyone seriously cares.
Is there hope? Well, it’s a mixed bag. It’s said soccer is a gentleman’s game played by hoodlums, and rugby is a hoodlum’s game played by gentlemen. There are still a few sports where there’s not much opportunity for smack talking. Golf and skiing come to mind. In golf, you’re expected to call your own rule infringements and be polite to your fellow players. There’s a code of honor. In skiing, you’re on the course by yourself and are pretty much surrounded by coaches, techs and trainers before you enter the starting gate; everyone’s in their own little world trying to mentally prepare. I think their turn to smack talk and play mind games rests in the media; a little like Formula One auto racing. Those guys are ridiculous. Borderline Primadonna’s.
But there is still camaraderie, even among rivals. Witness the relationship of Lindsey Vonn and Sofia Goggia, both extraordinary downhill skiers competing for different countries. They seek each other’s advice. They seem to realize it still comes down to skill and execution, no matter what you think you know. We’re all trying to do our best. Any tip or encouragement is welcome. We need to be mindful sometimes our fragile egos get in the way of intention; accepting advice as at least food for thought can help power success. It might even be mutual and construed as sportsmanship. Imagine.
